


Did you ever want children ?

by LiveLongAndLove



Category: Being Human (UK), The Almighty Johnsons
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Britchell Contribution Fest, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Insecure!Anders, John is asking shitty questions, M/M, Mention of children, a little bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-28
Updated: 2015-07-28
Packaged: 2018-04-11 17:46:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4445849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiveLongAndLove/pseuds/LiveLongAndLove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Did you ever want children ?"<br/>Anders froze at the question, raising his eyes up from his book, frowning.<br/>"What ?"<br/>"I wonder if you ever wanted children."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Did you ever want children ?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mosslover](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mosslover/gifts), [dandelionpower](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dandelionpower/gifts).



> This little OS was written for the first week of the Britchell Contribution Fest on Tumblr.  
> I'd like to thank Mosslover for the corrections, considering the fact that English is not my first language. You did an amazing job, thank you again for your patience and kindness ! And thanks to dandelion power for creating the Britchell week (I definitively needed more Britchell in my life).  
> You can find all the works on Tumblr : http://britchellcontributionfest.tumblr.com
> 
> I hope you're gonna like it, the idea just kinda popped up one night and well, here it is !  
> PS : I still suck a summaries. Sorry.

« Did you ever want children ? »

Anders froze at the question, raising his eyes up from his book, frowning.

« What ? »

The vampire, who was  just coming out of the bathroom, sat down quietly on the bed where Anders was lying. His long brown hair was still wet from the shower he just took, and his torso was glittering with a few drops of water running over his muscles. 

« I wonder if you ever wanted children. You never talk about it, but when you’re at Ty and Dawn’s, you just spend the whole afternoon playing with their newborn baby. I’m not the only one who noticed, you know. » 

Anders closed the book he was holding in his hand, placing it on the nightstand. 

« Alright. But that doesn’t tell me why you’re suddenly asking me this question. »  
« And you didn't answer mine, Anders. You’re avoiding it. Don’t do your Bragi shit on me, you know it doesn’t work. »

The blond god smiled a bit. 

« I’m not the kind of man to have a family, Dracula. »  
« And yet here you are, sitting on a bed with the man you’ve been fucking exclusively for two years. Anders, I know what the world thinks about you, and what you show to the world, but all this shit doesn’t matter with me because I know how to read you. So tell me, really. Did you ever want children ? »

Knowing that this conversation was about to get very long and very boring and that Mitchell was determined to have a proper answer, Anders sat a bit more comfortably, running a hand through his hair. 

« The truth is, I had always wanted children when I was younger. When my father was still at home and I was too young to understand how creepy my parents' relationship was, I loved to play with Ty and Axl. Axl wasn’t a difficult baby to take care of, and my mom used to let us, Mike and I, raise him. Then I started growing up, and I saw my father change and become an asshole, a violent one. »

Mitchell had often heard of Anders’ past. In two years, the blond god had talked very little about it, but he had told him how his father used to behave toward his mother, his brothers, and him. The relationship he had with his brothers was somehow a consequence of their childhood, because the Johnsons brothers all lived those lives very differently. 

« Anders, you can’t let the bad moments you had in your childhood ruin what you have now. I know I've said a lot about your brothers and God knows I wanna bite them and let them bleed to death sometimes, especially Mike. But it’s the same about children, what you lived in your family can’t define your life and your future. »

The blond shook his head. 

« I know, Mitch. I know you’re right but it’s not that simple. Do you remember when I told you that Mike left, and that I suddenly became the older one in the family ? That I had to take care of Axl ? Of course Ty was mom’s favorite, my father would never have dared hit him. And Axl was way to young to be beaten… So I just started hating the fact that being the older one and having to take care of everyone else made me suffer. It wasn’t my role, I lived with the idea and the fear that my little brothers would suffer too if I didn’t shut my mouth about it. That part of me is still too afraid of this experience to really want children. »

He sighed, crossing his arms in front of his torso. 

« I told myself at that moment that I would never have children because I didn’t want them to live with that same fear. Mike came home a few months later, took Axl and Ty when mom left, and I was all alone again. I forgot about my wish for children, and then I turned twenty one. When I became Bragi, everything changed. I was a womanizer, I didn’t have to worry about my future and even less about kids. My life could change the way I decided, when I decided. Then you came into my life. And I agreed with the fact that despite having an healthy relationship -don’t give me that look Mitchell, I’ll never have children. In case you didn’t notice, there’s a vagina missing in the equation here. »

Mitchell was about to answer, but he felt that Anders hadn't finished what he was saying. The blond god raised his hands to stop the words which wanted to slip out the vampire’s mouth, and the brunet just stayed there, waiting. Anders never really talked a lot, he liked making sassy jokes and small sentences, not long confessions on their bed after a long day of work. He took a deep breath before speaking again, calmer this time. 

« Can you imagine our life if we had kids ? I am mortal, I’m growing old despite the God living inside me. You're not, and you have to fight not to kill everybody when you smell blood. It’s not the kind of life I would have imagined for kids. »

He shook his head, lowering his eyes to stop his companion from reading any emotions inside them. Mitchell just stayed here, feeling sadness suddenly crushing them both.

« I’m sorry I can’t give you the life you deserve » he said, getting a little bit closer to his lover, leaning his head against his thigh. 

Anders buried his hand in the vampire’s curls, playing with the remaining drops of water in his hair. 

« Don’t ever be sorry about saving me from the miserable life I used to live, » he whispered, smiling when he noticed that his lover had closed his eyes. « You taught me what love was, and I’ll be forever grateful to you for that. Even if forever doesn’t mean anything for me, considering that I’m mortal. »  
« Anders… »  
« John. Whether you want it or not, I’m gonna grow old and die, and I truly hope you won’t be there anymore to see that. Stopping me from talking about it every time I do won’t change anything. »

Mitchell didn’t answer, keeping his eyes closed. He really didn’t want to talk about this tonight, or any other nights. He knew the ending of their story was inevitable, but he preferred not thinking about it.

« I love you. »

Anders felt his heart ache, like every time his lover was saying these precious words. He felt thousands of butterflies flying in his stomach, just like in the first days of their relationship. When Mitchell raised his head a little, he bowed his to meet him halfway, crashing their lips together. Their tongues finally started to dance together and Mitchell smiled into the kiss, gripping Anders’ shirt to make him fall on top of him. He swapped their positions, now lying on top of the blond and kissing him tenderly first on the lips then inside the crook of his neck.

« Why are you so suddenly interested in children anyway ? » Anders asked finally, feeling his breath hitching when one of Mitchell’s hands rubbed the front of his pants.

Mitchell froze for a second.

« In another life, I would have loved to bear your children. »

Anders grabbed his hair instantly, opening his mouth to let his tongue play with its twin. He let a hand slide onto his back, then to the curve of his ass, showing how much those words meant to him by making him moan his name. Despite being the god of poetry, he wasn’t good with showing his feelings. Mitchell was okay with that, at least he'd understood it since a while ago. This is why the blond used to show his love instead of speaking about it, and their sex life was one of the numerous proofs of how much the vampire meant to him. When Mitchell’s hand opened his pants, he knew he got it.

******

Mitchell felt his breath finally steadying a little, lying on his side, his eyes closed. His body was still shivering with pleasure from the aftermath of their lovemaking, and he felt Anders kiss his bare back. They loved this position, Anders spooning his lover after making love, and this time was no exception. However, Mitchell’s mind was still filled with questions which needed to be answered, and he opened his eyes slowly. 

« Anders ? »

He felt his lover’s breath against his neck, and a slight groan answered him.

« Hum ? »  
« You didn’t tell me everything, right ? »

There was a awkward silence for a few minutes, and Mitchell thought for a moment that he wouldn’t have an answer at all. But Anders’ body was still against his, his muscles weren’t twitching with anger, and his breath was still slow and steady. After minutes of silence, he finally felt Anders’ hand caress his skin slightly and closed his eyes again, knowing that the blond would speak when he wanted to. 

« No, I didn’t tell you everything. »  
« Why ? »  
« Because I’m a private person. »

Mitchell moved a little to lie on his back, now able to look his lover in the eye. 

« Speak to me. »  
« There’s nothing else to say. »  
« Don’t do that, Anders ! »  
« Can you imagine ? »

Mitchell frowned, confused. 

« What ? What do you mean can I imagine ? »  
« Can you imagine what model I’d be for a child ? If I had a son ? What could I teach him ? »

Mitchell shrugged, not quite understanding the question. 

« Everything, Anders. That’s what being a parent is for. »   
« You don’t understand, John. What could I teach a child ? Me ? What could I tell my son when he asks me for advice about women ? »

Suddenly, everything was clear in Mitchell’s mind. 

« You mean..? »  
« That the only thing that I would be able to teach him would be that he really, really needed to be a different man that I am. That you should treat women with respect, care, love, and never lie to them. Can you imagine how ironic it would be ? Can you imagine what people would say about it when they’d discover who’s the child's father ? How doomed he would be just because he’s my kid and because all I did in my life was crap ? »

Throwing the covers away, Anders left the bed angrily, disappearing into the kitchen. Mitchell hesitated for a small moment. Was he supposed to follow him ? Or leave him in peace with his thoughts ? He finally got up too, following Anders after grabbing a pair of pants lying on the top of a chair. 

« And can you imagine me with a little girl ? » said Anders when he felt his lover’s body pressing against his back, tenderly kissing his neck. « I’d be so panicked at the idea of her being with someone like me. Damn, I could kill the guy. I’m so not proud of what I did back then, but I can’t take it back. So many people suffered because of me. »

He leaned against the brunet’s embrace. 

« You overthink all of this, you know, » Mitchell whispered. « It’s not like a parent’s job is delivered with a notice. You would be so busy with a kid that you wouldn’t care or even have a though about what people think. And I saw you with Ty and Dawn’s little girl. We saw you and we agreed on the fact that you would be a marvelous father. »

The blond sighed, turning slightly to let the vampire see his face. He kissed his lips, smiling a bit. 

« But I will just stay an amazing uncle. »  
« Why ? »  
« First of all because my life here doesn’t leave any room for babies, as I said earlier. Second because physically, we can’t have a little Anders with sharp teeth running around the flat. And last because I swore I’d never have children because the Earth doesn’t need my genes anymore, trust me. »

When he heard those words, Mitchell clenched his fist.

« Oh, Anders. Don’t say that. »

He grabbed the blond into a warm hug, kissing his jaw and cheekbones. 

« You are not an abomination, Anders. You will never be, do you hear me ? Don’t let your father or Mike tell you that, because it’s not true. I know what you are worth. »

The only response he got was a groan against his torso, and he smiled. 

« I can’t do anything but respect your promise, Anders. But I don’t want this promise to be made because of a lie. I want you to know how amazing you would be as a dad and how proud I’d be to raise a child next to you. »

The blond raised his head a little to stare at him, his eyes filled with emotion. He didn’t say anything, because he didn’t need to. Mitchell was the only one to understand him without words, and it was the case again tonight. 

« I know, Mitchell, I know. And this is why I love you so much. »  
« I love you too » said the vampire, kissing his temple. « And this is why I don’t want any more words like that coming out of your mouth, okay ? »

Anders smiled a bit, reflecting Mitchell’s smile. 

« And now, let’s go back to bed. »  
« Because tomorrow we’ve got to be amazing uncles ! » said the blond with a little wink.   
« Well you know, being better than Mike is actually not that complicated… » 

Anders groaned.

« If you’re still thinking about Mike right now, I’m definitively not doing my job well enough » he said, before pulling Mitchell by the hair to let them both fall on the bed.


End file.
